If you’ve been part of The Kachet Life fam for a while, you know that Mother’s Day is not my favorite holiday. I’m not alone. A few of my friends who are also part of the Motherless Daughter club cringe toward the middle/end of April when all of the Mother’s Day “propaganda” (as I like to call it) comes out. I’m so proud to be partnering with JaM Cellars and Butter Chardonnay to share some ways to honor the moms who have left us in hopes of finding some inner peace during a season meant for blooming new life and energy!
Allow yourself to cry
It’s okay to cry, and I say this after I beat myself up for crying last weekend 🙂 . So many of us hold it in and don’t allow for the release and it seems to only come out at the most random of times (yes I have cried in a parking lot before). But, you have to let it out, and for as long as it takes. It’s okay to miss her. It’s okay to cry for her. I still (and will) cry for mine. Navigating life without her is tough, especially since I didn’t know my mom when I became an adult. There are so many instances where I wish I could call her, or things I want to tell her since I have become a full-fledged business owner. I’ve been tested in so many ways, and I swear some of my feelings around it, only my mom would understand. I have many moments of wondering “what would she do?” and somehow finding the answer inside myself. That in itself brings tears, and it’s okay. You’re okay, and you can let others know that you are a safe space for them.
“Adopt” a Mom
Is there a woman in your life that is a mom figure to you? Let her know that she matters by doing a little something for her on or around Mother’s Day. It can be as small or as large as your feeling up to this year. Take her to lunch, send her a card, or give her a bottle of Butter Chardonnay! It is full of flavor, aromatic and the perfect price point.
You could take it a step further and ask your social circle if they know of a mother that is deserving of recognition, and do something nice for a stranger. What a gift you could give someone else who’s sacrificed to make sure their family has the best, a sacrifice that maybe your own mother made for you at one point.
Get together with others who share your pain
Celebrating memories of your mother can comfort you in ways you cannot imagine. Everyone who I consider a close friend of mine has heard at least one story about my mother or grandmother. It is very therapeutic to talk about them and even more so in a group of people who have the same hole in their heart. I get together with a group of women a couple of times a year for “A Toast to Mom” brunch and we are all in different stages of life and grief. We are between ages 27-60. Some of us lost our mothers over 20 years ago, and some of us lost her last year. We are all very different but we are all the same. That commonality is priceless and I always feel better after I leave our get-togethers.
Take the time you need for your mom. Your way.
When you are living life without your mom, and important dates come along, it’s true when they say every year is different. From my own experience, some years I have been extremely joyous and wanting to do everything I could to honor her. Other years, I’ve burrowed myself so deep in the blankets that I wasn’t sure I’d ever come out. This year, I’m feeling pretty good, and I’m going to honor her by reminiscing about my favorite times with her.
When I think of my mom, I really think about her strength and beauty. I remember how if there wasn’t a way, she always made a way. She did everything she could to make sure I had a good life, a life full of love, support, and she gave me the freedom to let me come into my own. She is worthy of every toast I could give to her if she were still here, but I’m not letting that stop me. The juicy flavor of Butter is one that I will enjoy for us because love never dies!
My mom’s wine time and Butter Chardonnay
This wasn’t always the case, but around the time I turned 11, my mom would have a glass of wine after dinner. In hindsight, maybe I, my grandmother, AND my great-grandmother were driving her crazy…because I knew not to interrupt her during that time! 😉
I imagine if she were here, we’d enjoy laughing about those times during one of our wine nights. We’d catch up on our weeks, talk about the silly things the men of our homes have done (because I truly believe she would’ve found love), and watch How to Get Away with Murder. Like Annalise, my mother was bold and not one to be messed with. The flavors of Butter would match her boldness, with notes of stone fruit and baked-lemon and a vanilla finish that we would both enjoy.
This Mother’s Day, I’ll be raising a glass of Butter Chardonnay to my mother and all of the wonderful things that made her who she was. I hope you’ll join me in celebrating the special lady in your life, and if yours is longer with us, please know that my heart is with you.
Photos by Christie Spencer Photography
I was selected for this opportunity as a member of CLEVER and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.